This Is What I Believe

There is a window of time between 2am and 4am in which all my personal demons come out to prance around and poke me with sharp objects. Doubt, loneliness, anger, despair. Especially that last one. It gets me good.

I try not to be awake in that period but I can’t always help it. Sometimes insomnia grabs me by the throat and forces me into the unsteady darkness of the wee hours, forces me to face all the things I hide from in the daylight.

Sometimes I think I can’t possibly survive. Sometimes I let myself think I’ll be lost forever. Sometimes I doubt the sun will ever come up again.

But here’s something I’ve learned over countless sleepless nights: There is always light on the horizon.

I didn’t sleep last night, but I survived, and when the sun came up I made this:


Hebrews 6:19
Hebrews 6:19
This Is What I Believe

6 thoughts on “This Is What I Believe

  1. Fergus Hancock says:

    Oh Beth… my night times of lonely 2am waking are rarer now, but they can be awful. Keeping you in my heart, dearest.

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