This Is What I Believe

There is a window of time between 2am and 4am in which all my personal demons come out to prance around and poke me with sharp objects. Doubt, loneliness, anger, despair. Especially that last one. It gets me good.

I try not to be awake in that period but I can’t always help it. Sometimes insomnia grabs me by the throat and forces me into the unsteady darkness of the wee hours, forces me to face all the things I hide from in the daylight.

Sometimes I think I can’t possibly survive. Sometimes I let myself think I’ll be lost forever. Sometimes I doubt the sun will ever come up again.

But here’s something I’ve learned over countless sleepless nights: There is always light on the horizon.

I didn’t sleep last night, but I survived, and when the sun came up I made this:

 

Hebrews 6:19
Hebrews 6:19
Advertisements
This Is What I Believe

6 thoughts on “This Is What I Believe

  1. Fergus Hancock says:

    Oh Beth… my night times of lonely 2am waking are rarer now, but they can be awful. Keeping you in my heart, dearest.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s