Restless

Thoughts On Writer’s Block

Posted on May 3, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t believe in writer’s block, but upon thinking about it more carefully, I realize this isn’t actually true. OF COURSE writers have trouble writing sometimes. I do, but even if I didn’t, who am I to say that my experience is the definitive one? Plenty of people experience things that I do not. Like snow. I have not experienced snow personally, but I know others who have. When I said I didn’t believe in writer’s block, I unintentionally devalued the experiences of other writers, and I’m sorry for that.

What I object to is not the fact that writers get blocked, but the term Writer’s Block itself. I don’t like it, because I think it makes us lazy. It makes the normal bumps on the writing road seem like some mystical affliction. It  takes away our agency to make positive changes in our lives. It makes us say “Woe is me, I will not write today, because I have Writer’s Block. I must wait for it to go away, and for Inspiration to return.”

I hope you see why this is problematic.

This is what I believe about Writer’s Block: When we are having trouble writing, there is always a cause (not a mystical one) and when there is a cause, there is a solution. When we are blocked, we need to figure out why and make changes to become unblocked.

I’m not going to diagnose why any specific writer may be having trouble writing. It’s an entirely personal thing, and there are innumerable causes. But I myself been having trouble writing lately, and after some soul-searching, I understand why.

The only times in my life I would ever consider myself ‘blocked’ have been while submitting my first novel, and now, in my last revision of my second novel. Both have the same cause. For me the business of writing is antithetical to the creative side of writing. Just knowing that this is my near-to-last draft and that I will be querying soon has been like an adrenaline boost to my inner perfectionist. Suddenly I’m examining every line, turning it over and over in my head before I can move on. Sometimes the pressure to write something perfect has become so overwhelming I can’t even make myself sit down to write at all.

This is not fun. And when writing is not enjoyable, I know something is wrong.

So because I now understood the cause of the “block” I was able to figure out some strategies to get past it. One of the ways I’m working on finding the joy again is by writing something I don’t intend to sell, just for fun. Writing for the sake of writing, for the pure joy of it. You have no idea how freeing this is. I can do anything, try anything, break every rule I know. I’m having a blast!

And suddenly, upon finding the fun again, I feel ready to go back to Restless and finish that last draft. I can see the bits I love in it, I can enjoy being with the characters, I can look forward to writing ‘the end’ once more.

I know I may get slapped for this, but I think we as unpublished writers don’t really appreciate the freedom we have at this point in the journey. The only deadlines we have are our own. We can take chances that contracted writers might have difficulty getting past their editors. We don’t have to worry about sales figures or trends or living up to our last book.

I, for one, am going to make a concerted effort to embrace the fun side of writing more. To try new things and to worry less about the future and the publishing business.

While I finish up this draft I’m going to try to have a publishing business blackout. If something is going on in  the publishing world, I really don’t want to know about it. It doesn’t affect the story I am trying to tell. In all likelihood it won’t affect my chances of getting published (as much as my over-analytical brain will try and convince me otherwise). It’s just not that important at this stage. What is important is the writing.

So, moral of the story: If you are blocked, find out why, then figure out a way to fix it. And try to have fun.

In other news, we’re going to pick out Mika on Saturday! I will take many pictures, I promise. You will have a blog filled with puppy love. We don’t get to take her home until the 15th, but we’re just so excited that we get to meet her!

Santa Monica

Categories: Restless, Revision, Writing Life, Writing tools | 3 Comments

An Easter Retrospective

Posted on April 3, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

It’s fun to look back at the year that was. Last year, just before Easter, I wrote this post: Easter Writing Marathon.

I had big plans that Easter. I was about 12k into my new novel (the one that would become Restless) and I was hoping to hit 20k. That didn’t happen. Despite my wonderful plans, I came down with the flu really, really badly. I spent most of Easter sleeping or playing video games while coughing up all sorts of disgusting things.

This Easter I’m in a fairly similar place. I’m just starting a new novel and I’m planning to spend Easter racking up the word count. But this time, I’m prepared. I’ve been drinking plenty of orange juice and taking vitamins, and I WILL NOT get sick  this time.

In a month or to I’ll be querying that novel I was writing last Easter. I wonder if next Easter I’ll be querying this one?

I love that I did eventually write that 20k I was hoping for. In fact, I made it to 77k. I love that no matter what challenges have come across my path in the last year, I worked hard and achieved what I set out to do. Yay me!

What were you doing this time last year? What have you achieved since then, and how have your goals changed?

Portland, Maine

Categories: Life, Restless, Writing Progress | Leave a comment

Filling The Well

Posted on March 28, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

I’ve been taking some time lately to ‘Fill the well’. I have no idea how I came across this term, but I really like the idea that creativity is a well that must be added to in order to be sustained. Finishing Restless pretty much depleted my creative well down to its last muddy dregs, and as much as I would have loved to jump right into a new project, I knew I needed to take the time to fill it back up again.

How have I been doing that?

Well, this helped a great deal:

Restless Mock Cover

I have an incredibly talented, generous husband who loves to make mock covers for my books. This one is just perfect and it makes my heart sing to see such a lovely visual representation of my story. Those white things are moths, by the way, and they play an important role in the story. Thanks, Husband!!!

This is another way I’m filling the well:

Redhead Beach

I haven’t been to the beach in far too long and it was so lovely to go back there.

I’ve also been assembling my inspiration pics for the new story. This is one of them:

Wolf, taken at the Northwest Trek Wildlife Park

And no, I’m not writing a werewolf story :P

I’m also reading lots of books, researching puppy training for our May arrival, going to the movies (two in one weekend), taking up running again and spending lots of time with friends and family.

These things make for a happy soul and a full well.

How do you ‘fill the well’?

Categories: Life, Planning, Restless | 3 Comments

An Overload of Cuteness

Posted on March 21, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

Sorry for the blog silence, all! I’ve been lost in the revision cave for awhile. Over the weekend, though, I finally finished!!!

Woohoo, celebration!! *dies*

I’ve been hibernating since then, utterly exhausted, hence the lack of blogging.

To add to my happiness, we received some excellent news: On Sunday our puppy was born!!!

Mum and bubs!

We put our name down for a chocolate lab, but surprise! They all came out black. We don’t mind. Who could resist these little babies?

The litter

We’re so, so excited to be parents! In six weeks we can go see her, and in eight weeks we can pick her up. We have lots of puppy-proofing to do before then.

Here are the girls:

One of these is our Mika!

While I wait for CPs to get back to me, I’m drafting a query and researching agents. This part of the process is exciting, but also anxious-making. I’m so glad I will have a puppy to cuddle while I send out queries!

In other news, Amy Christine Parker, who I know on Twitter, just sold her novel! It’s called The Silo and it’s about a post-apocalyptic cult. How amazing does that sound? Go congratulate her if you have a chance!

Well, I’m off to stare at the puppy photos more. So excited!

Categories: Life, Restless | 11 Comments

Lost In Revisions

Posted on February 25, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

I’m not all that good at writing short blog posts, but I’m going to give it a try, because I am deep, deep, deep in revisions. What, you thought I was done? Not quite. I finished my second draft and wrote ‘The End’ for the first time, which was huge, but although I now have a bookish looking thing, I still have quite a bit of smoothing to do.

Have you ever heard of Chekhov’s gun? Basically: If you place a gun on the wall in the first chapter, it must go off before the end. I like to think of a book as being made up of hundreds of threads. My job at this stage is to make sure each thread is present throughout the whole novel, and are all woven in nicely.

So while this draft isn’t as comprehensive as the last, it’s all about DETAILS, which is quite brain-consuming. There is never a moment in which I’m not thinking about my novel. If I’m talking to you and suddenly start staring off into space, it’s probably because I suddenly realized I lost a character somewhere around chapter four. Or, I forgot to mention an important item of back story which helps the protagonist live through the climax. Or maybe I need more moths (there are a lot of moths in this story). Also, this novel is kind of creepy, so you can imagine the kind of dreams I’ve been having.

One good thing about being at this stage is I’m really seeing the novel take shape. It’s kind of gorgeous, really. I set out to achieve something I didn’t even know if I was capable pulling off, but step by step I plodded along, and now I’m really seeing all my hard work pay off. I love this novel. Love, love, LOVE. It’s the best thing I have ever written and I’m terribly hopeful for its future.

So, forgive me, friends, colleagues, randoms on the internet. I am deep in revision territory and it may be a couple of weeks before I surface. But when I do, I may have a shiny new manuscript for you to enjoy! :)

Revision = foggy brain.

Categories: Restless, Revision, Writing Progress | 2 Comments

This Makes Me Happy :)

Posted on February 20, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

Blurry on purpose :)

Categories: Restless, Revision | Leave a comment

In Which I Become A Brunette

Posted on February 12, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

So on Friday something that never happens happened. Every part of my life came together to perfectly create the ideal writing environment. Firstly, I had an insanely good nights sleep on Thursday night (this is a rare and beautiful occurrence). Then I got off work four hours early (whee!). Thirdly, we had an abundance of coffee in the house, and because it was a Friday night I could have as much as I wanted (three cups all up)(No, I didn’t sleep much).

So I sat down at my laptop and made a deal with Twitter/The Universe. If I could finish my draft in one long writing marathon, I would dye my hair.

This is what I look like today:

Sorry for the Facebook shot, folks!

I think I look like Katniss. Agree? Maybe this will help:

Today has been celebration day because I finally, finally, finally wrote “The End” on my novel (you will remember I left the ending hanging in my first draft because there was so much I wanted to change that the original ending would no longer make sense).

My lovely friend Lena (who played Rory to my Lane in the great hair dyeing experiment) brought me flowers and Frosty Fruit ice blocks (I love you, Lena!) to help celebrate.

Please ignore our lunch dishes...

And I slept in, which never happens. And I unpacked my books onto the floor because I do not yet have bookcases.

Books!

For the rest of the weekend I plan to play video games. I so rarely have time, but I do love it so. In the last break between novels I played Alan Wake, and you will see how this influenced Restless when you read it (which I promise you will). I don’t know how Uncharted will influence my next novel as they are in no way alike, but you never know…

I’m taking the rest of this week off to celebrate and recoup, but I’ll be back next week for another read through (note to self: must buy post-its). Not thinking about that yet, though, because I FINISHED MY NOVEL!!!

Categories: Life, Restless, Writing Progress | 5 Comments

Six Things on a Saturday

Posted on February 4, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

I have a whole bunch of random things I want to write about today, and was struggling to find a unifying title… Hence the Six Things. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

1. Restless

So I realized a few days ago that my story will not be 70,000 words. 70k was a bit of an arbitrary number to begin with – it seems to be the mid-point in length of the YA novels I read. My first book ended up around 80k. I’m thinking this one will be closer to 60k. Maybe 65k. This means something rather significant: I’m really almost completely done with this revision. “Huh?” I hear you say. “But the last time you posted you were at 40k.”

Well… After a banner week I’m current at… drumroll, please…

 

54000 / 60000 words. 90% done!

 

Crazy, huh? This draft could be out to my critique partners in just a couple of weeks (eek!). If all goes well I will finish the draft this week/end and will spend next weekend reading through it from beginning to end. Then I’ll send it off to my readers!

2. New Story

Whenever I get to this stage in the process I start thinking about the next story I’m going to write. I think I’m a little terrified of not writing, and I think it probably helps the critique/query process if I’m immersed in another project. In theory I won’t take things so hard if I have something else on the table. So, as I’ve mentioned, I have a few ideas on the table and who knows what I’ll end up writing, but one in particular has caught my fancy. It has something to do with this picture:

TSW Inspiration Photo

TSW is the acronym for the (possibly temporary) title.

I like having images associated with a story idea in my office. Atmosphere and setting are two of the most important elements of story to me, and it helps to glance at a photo and be immediately drawn into the world of my novel. With Tiger Eye I used a poster and just glued pictures printed on normal paper to it, but it hasn’t really stood the test of time. With Restless I pinned pictures to a corkboard, but that meant I wasn’t able to use the corkboard for anything else, which was frustrating. So this time, I’ve decided to try something different: Photo frames. I bought a bunch of frames and picked out some inspiration photos from our trip, like the one above. As soon as we get the go-ahead from the real estate agent to put nails in the walls, I’ll hang them and have my own frame collage. I’ll probably swap out the pictures every time I start a new story. I think it’s probably the prettiest solution to my problem :) .

Photo frames, without pictures

3. Whiteboard

For Christmas two of my brothers-in-law gave me an awesome notebook and a gift voucher to my favourite stationary store (they know me so well!). I used the gift voucher to buy a whiteboard and that, with the notebook, has totally revolutionized my writing process. I’ve always understood that my first ideas are rarely my best ones, but I don’t often give myself the time to explore all the options when approaching a scene. Now, thanks to these two totally awesome brainstorming tools, I always know I’ve picked the best idea I can come up with.

My brainstorming book

This is an action scene I was having trouble with. There is no actual bear in my story. Though that would be pretty cool. If implausible in the Blue Mountains.

4. Music

As a teen, music was everything to me. I listened to it all the time. I tried a bunch of different instruments and spent many hours performing or in music lessons. All my friends were musos and just as obsessed as me. When I moved to the city with my family though, all that went away. When the people around you aren’t big music people, listening to music can be sort of isolating. I really wanted to make friends. Around this time I also became more serious about my writing, and so the instruments I played grew dusty in their stands.

Lately I’ve realised how much I miss listening to music for fun (not just as a playlist for my writing) and making music myself. So I’ve made a deal with my husband. Every week I can buy one album, or a collection of individual songs of the same price. As well as that, I’ve dragged my guitar from under the spare bed and I’ve been fiddling away at it.

I’ll never be a professional musician. I’m not too fond of performing, or having people listening to me play. But I’m learning that not everything you do needs to have a larger goal attached. I may never be very good at playing music, but it makes me happy, so I’m going to keep doing it.

Here are two of the songs I bought this week:

5. Bagels

Bagels are our go-to breakfast food, so we decided to try our hand at making them ourselves. Here is the (delicious) result:

Bagels!

6. Old Posts

I finally got around to importing all my old posts from livejournal. Have a look around if you’re interested :)

I’m off to go write! Have a sunshiney weekend, friends – if not in weather, in mood.

Categories: Music, Restless, Writing tools | 2 Comments

A Girl and Her Pen: A Love Story

Posted on January 21, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

Next week The Husband and I are going away to celebrate our four year wedding anniversary, and it’s got me thinking about relationships and what it takes to make them work.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself getting frustrated with the writing. I wrote in my last post about unrealistic expectations, and that’s part of what’s been troubling me, but it goes further than that. Writing is a lot like a relationship, and I hadn’t been treating it very well.

You guys know I’m a lover of lists, so you won’t be surprised the first thing I did was make a list of ways to mend my relationship with the pen. This is what I came up with:

- Take it slow. There can be a lot of external pressure when you’re in a relationship. Everyone has an opinion about when you should reach the major milestones. When you should get engaged, how long the engagement should be, and isn’t it time you start giving us grandkids? It’s when you internalise this pressure that things start going wrong. Whenever I read about someone submitting a query, getting an agent, publishing a book, I get impatient. I want to be there NOW. But what I need – what my writing needs – is to take thing slow.

- Personal space. When you’re in love – with a person, or with your story – you want to spend every last second together. This isn’t always a good thing, though. The Husband and I love spending time together, but we each have our own hobbies as well. We’ve found that spending time apart makes the moments we do spend together even more special. When I spend too much time in the world of my story I find myself going a little crazy. It becomes hard to see the big picture, where I’m heading, when I’m buried in a single scene, or paragraph. Sometimes the absolute best thing I can do for my writing is have a break, be it an hour, a day, or even a week. This past week my husband and I moved house and it was the perfect time for a break from my writing. In fact, in a week of not writing I’ve had more ideas for the story than I’ve had in months of slaving away over my keyboard. I’m able to come at things fresh, with a bit of perspective, and I’m so, so excited to jump back in.

- Celebrate milestones. I’ve mentioned this one before, but I think it’s really important. For our wedding anniversary, The Husband and I are going to a swanky hotel in the Blue Mountains and eating at our favourite restaurant of all time. It just so happens that the town we’re visiting is the one that inspired the town from my story, and the hotel we’re staying in plays a major role in the plot. This will be the third time I’ve visited the Blue Mountains since I came up with the idea for this story and it’s always such an inspiring time. It will do me and my story good to go back to where it all began, and celebrate the journey so far.

- Plan for the future. This one can be tricky, as dreaming and planning can turn into pressure if you’re not careful, but they’re still so important. The Husband and I love to talk about the future. About things we’d like to do, places we’d like to see. A lot of our plans aren’t in our control, but they’re important to think about. They give you things to aim for and they give you a gentle shove when you’re going through hard times. When I read those stories about other writers getting agents, I have to work at not letting myself feel pressured, but I also find them inspiring. It’s something to aim for, to dream about. Writing and I have a big future together and I need to keep being open and hopeful.

- Dating is important. When you’ve been married for a while you can find yourself getting in a rut of work and laundry and dishes. It’s important to remind yourself you’re not living with a housemate, you’re living with the love of your life. You need to take time to do special things together like go to the movies, eat out, or even window shop. For me, writing is the same. BICHOK, or Butt In Chair, Hands On Keys, is the serious writer’s mantra, but if that’s all you do, you can find yourself getting burnt out. Sometimes it’s good to write something just for fun. On Saturdays I like to have a writing date at a local cafe (I’ll have to find a new one now that I’m living in the ‘burbs), just me and my laptop, sipping tea and tapping on the keyboard. Not because I have to but because it’s fun.

- Choose wisely. Now, this one doesn’t quite apply to me at the moment, but it’s something I think about a lot when I’m starting a story. Writing a novel takes a really long time. Sure, you can always break up if it isn’t working, but it’s so much easier if you take time in the beginning to evaluate – is this the right story for you? Will you be happy with this story? Does it inspire you, challenge you, make you want to be a better writer? Luckily, the answers to those questions are all ‘yes’ for Restless. And now that I’ve chosen this story and I’m working hard to make my vision a reality, it’s important for me to reflect on what made me say ‘yes’ to begin with.

So now that I’ve given myself relationship counseling with my writing, it’s time for me to dive back in. I have my oreos. I have my coffee. I have my new only-partially-set-up office. I have the thunderstorm gathering outside my window. So I’m going to go write.

After a week off, here’s where the word count is up to:

 

35000 / 70000 words. 50% done!

 

Halfway there. I think that’s worth celebrating :)

Where I'm going next weekend

 

Categories: Restless, Writing Progress | 2 Comments

Best Books of 2011

Posted on January 7, 2012 by bethanyrsmith

So I sat down to write my “Best Books of 2011″ post and I realized I was going to have a little trouble. You see, I didn’t write down the books I read last year, and I’m having trouble remembering them. Then again, maybe that’s part of the weeding-out process: If I can remember them after all this time, they have to be pretty good, right?

It was a tumultuous year for book buying and reading for me. My go-to bookstore closed. I got a full-time job. I traveled overseas for two months. But I did still manage to read a fair bit. In fact, when we returned from our trip we had an extra suitcase, entirely filled with books.

So without further ado, my Best Books of 2011 list:

1. The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

Ever since I first picked up Shiver in a bookstore and read the first few lines, I’ve been a huge Maggie fan. There’s something to be said for making language invisible, but as a writer I sometimes like to pick up a book and just roll around in the beautiful words. For those who don’t know, Maggie is terribly talented at many things. She was first published in her early 20s, after having worked full time as a portrait artist. The thing I admire most about her is how much better she gets with each book. The Scorpio Races is her very best yet. I read it while driving from San Francisco to Los Angeles on Highway 1, which might be the best possible place to read this book. Cliffs, beaches, the fear of imminent death… what more do you need? I couldn’t tell you. I thought it was perfect.

2. Imaginary Girls by Nova Ren Suma

I don’t read much contemporary YA literature, and I’m not sure this one even counts, but it makes me want to read more. I loved the restraint Nova showed in not giving us all the answers. I loved the chapter headings. I loved the sense of mystery and foreboding. I loved the lake, and all its stories. I admit I was surprised by how much I loved this book, but it left a deep impression. It makes me want to reach deeper and become a better writer, as all good books do. Unsettling and beautiful: Just my kind of story.

3. Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi

When I was younger I just gobbled up post-apocalyptic fiction. It was my favorite kind of story. Back then these books were relatively hard to find, and I pretty much just read my Isobelle Carmody novels over and over again. Then came the YA boom, and vampires, and finally post-apocalyptic overload. It seems like every second book is about the end of the world. You would think this would be exciting for me, but unfortunately I haven’t found too many that live up to the quality I like. So while book after book was released, I’ve kind of sat back and waited for the cream to rise to the top. The Hunger Games was cream. Ship Breaker is definitely cream. What I like about it: The completely different setting. So many post-apocalyptic worlds these days seem interchangeable, but this one is completely and totally unique. It’s believable and beautiful and heartbreaking. Also, the writing is magnificent. It’s more restrained than Stiefvater, but it’s another one I could just roll around in. The character voices were so unique and the world just made my brain spin. I loved it, loved it, loved it.
Aside: I read this while driving through the desert towards the Grand Canyon, which is thematic if not accurate.

4. Daughter of Smoke and Bone

You know when everyone tells you you should read something and that rebellious side of you rears its ugly head and you find yourself resisting? Everyone has always told me how wonderful Laini Taylor is, but this is the first time I’ve actually given her a go. Somehow I thought if she was such a fantastic author, the kind who won awards and whose books made it on prestigious lists, then maybe her stories were more educational than entertaining. Wow, I was wrong. I am so glad I finally picked this book up. I read Daughter while in Montreal (which, by the way, might be the perfect place to read it if you can’t make it all the way to Prague) and my traveling companions actually had to drag me out of the car to see the city. All I wanted to do was curl up with this book forever and ever. Which might be why I was so mad when it ended. Warning: Daughter is the first in a series. Its ending isn’t really an ending. But other than that: So, so good. My favorite part was voice. Let me tell you, Laini Taylor has voice just leaking from her pores. Love, love, love.

Honorable mention:

The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson

The only reason I can’t add this as a full entry is that I haven’t finished reading it yet. I bought it just before the end of 2011 and have been slowly savoring it since. I can’t tell you if the book is fantastic, because you never know, it could totally fall over in the back half, but the first 100 pages have totally hooked me. I love atmosphere and I love a good mystery, and this book has both in spades.

 

So, how goes my own book, you ask? Pretty good! New Years slowed me down a bit, as did going back to work, but I’m still over my goal, so cheers to that!

Here’s where I’m at currently:

30000 / 70000 words. 43% done!

 

I’m hoping to get to 50% by the end of the weekend, so I better get hopping!

Lately I’ve found myself getting unreasonably annoyed at this manuscript for not being done yet. Unreasonable, because I started writing Restless not even 12 months ago. By this time with my last novel I hadn’t even finished the first draft. Last time it took me six months to revise. I’ve been working for four weeks and I’m almost halfway there.

I don’t know where our unreasonable expectations come from, but I think when you find them you need to kick them in the arse. It doesn’t matter that such-and-such writes two books a year. Such-and-such isn’t writing the same story as you. Her life and process are completely different. What matters is your story, and what it needs. What matters is putting your best effort it, day after day. Nothing else.

I need to remember to pat myself on the back for my achievements, and I suppose this blog is one way I do that. I love my story, I’m making good progress and I’m doing my very best. Those things deserve celebrating.

So how will you celebrate your achievements today? And how do you keep your expectations in check? Are there any fantastic books you read last year that you think I should read?

Happy weekend all!

 

Categories: Favorite Books, Restless, Writing Progress | 2 Comments

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