You may have noticed some changes around these parts. I’ve actually put some effort into the display-side of this blogging business. I’ve added a profile, an introductory note, and one of my favourite photos taken by darling husband (aka The Boy, aka Michael) at my 21st birthday party (which was on a boat. Do you know how freaking cool that is?).
I hope you like it, because that’s about as far as my technological talents reach.
Time for a progress bar update, methinks:
(That’s chapters, not words).
Yup, that’s right, I’m a third of the way through the third draft of Tiger Eye.
Now, I haven’t done very well on my New Years Resolutions this year. I’ve only read 25 books. I’ve spent a great deal of the year NOT writing. In fact, I’m doing so badly that I can’t even remember what the other resolutions were.
The primary reason for this – wel,l the writing part at least – has been fear. Intense, crippling fear. I know it’s good to take some time out between drafts so you can approach the story with a fresh set of eyes, but I took this to the extreme. I didn’t need three months between each draft. ‘
Now, I’ve debated whether or not to mention religion on this blog because I don’t like preaching to people, but I think to some extent it’s unavoidable as my faith is such a large part of my life. As I’m still not sure how to approach this issue I’m going to give the vaguest possible explanation of my personal growth of late:
I’m not terribly self-confident. I don’t think I ever will be. So in order to get over my own doubts and fears, I had to rely on my faith in something larger, someone I COULD have complete confidence in. I directed you guys to a post of Maggie Stiefvater on courage a while back, so for the non-religious among you, go read that. But for me, the only way I could get rid of that fear and take courage in what I was doing was to trust that God would see me through. And he has.
Something else I’ve learned is to stop making excuses. Five months of insomnia taught me that. Because if I’d have tried to use insomnia as an excuse not to do things – and I did, in the beginning – I would have done nothing for five months. Sure, it’s tough. Sure, it won’t be my best work. But it’s not impossible, and it’s worth pushing through.
So today, for example, I’m a bit unwell. I feel like crap, to be honest. But that’s not going to stop me from parking my butt in the chair and getting through at least one more chapter.
Sooner or later in life you realise what is worth working for, and what isn’t. Writing is worth it, and so I’m going to write whether I’m sick, whether I’ve slept at all the night before, whether the world comes tumbling down around my ears. And some of that is a God thing, as well. Believe me when I say I can’t do it alone.
So this is me getting serious: I’m going to finish this draft in the next month. I’m going to do a bit of polishing. And then, by the end of November i’m going to send it off into the big wide world and hope someone likes it as much as I do.
Because I’m done making excuses and I’m done being scared.